I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
