I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
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