just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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