with your own penis?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
