My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
