yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
