We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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