i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
