I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
