oh god the rape fog is back!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
