Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There r osticjed everywhere
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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