Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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