i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
