ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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