bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
