Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
