we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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