He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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