I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
