Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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