u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I would ride that face into the sunset
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
