Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
not ubering you a puppy
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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