we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
tell me about the eggs
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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