Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
