Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
