I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He did a backflip because drugs
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
