Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
