Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
do herpes really smell.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
