I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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