sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
