it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
