Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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