Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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