I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
