The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i love accidental penises.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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