i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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