I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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