Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
