Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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