So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
