An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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