I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
