put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
