6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
