If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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