I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
