Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
