We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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