I just saw a hot homeless man
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
