If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
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