can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
