is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
